Letters: For the fans.

Dear cottage cheese,

MMmmm. You are delicious! I love your salty, curdy wheys (get it? ways?). You are delicious with pineapple and also black pepper and sprouts. Rock ON with your bad self. We are going to start making you at home. Are you ready?

Love,

MJ

Dear Mother-in-Law,

Thanks for keeping chardonnay stocked and available. It was what I needed.

Love,

MJ

Dear Place of Employment,

I am going to kill someone if I don’t get my own office. Bringing three bags plus a laptop to work on a daily basis is killing me. All I want is a god damned bookshelf for some crap and a drawer or two. My clients think I’m nuts, always in a different place. And what would one think of someone who never has the same office? Temporary! Unreliable! Expendable! And I am expendable, that is the communication you give, Place of Employment. I am so sick of marching around in the middle of the day, exploring your halls, combing the keys for an open office. And there’s nothing like hearing from the secretary after I’ve unpacked for the SECOND time in the day that there is someone else in that office this afternoon. Who’s in that office? Someone who pulls in a lot more money than I do. I’m over it. Is it so much to ask to have a little desk, two chairs, and some walls for hanging pictures? It’s starting to make me nutty.

Love,

MJ

Dear puddles,

Welcome. Welcome to being splashed and jumped and generally mussed and enjoyed by my son in his sweet green boots. Ah, to have such boots. It’s spring. My son loves jumping and hopping and all permutations therein, so prepare to be gotten! I hope you enjoy the explosion of joy, the stomps of delight.

And is it nice to get all toasty on a hot asphalt parking lot, filling a little dimple of macadam with water and teeny little bits of gravel? I imagine it is, on a long fall towards a black hot top.  This is when I love you, filling in between my toes on summer days as I dodge worms and such.

I look forward to many wonderful afternoons and evenings.

Love,

MJ

So, there are some letters to start. They aren’t stellar, but they’ll do. And it looks like I can’t let go of the swearing. So it goes.

Tags: cottage cheese, letters, place of employment, puddles, work