I need a small focusing entry right now. I have had some things happen at work that are very frustrating, that could have been prevented, and that basically lead to the realization that I am a pawn, I am broke, I contribute nothing to my families financial stability except more debt, and that I could’ve gone on a bike ride today at two different times if I’d been informed of particular changes at work.
I have so much on my mind, much of it triggered by a discussion with my new therapist yesterday. I like her. I’m guardedly optimistic and I do feel she might push me a little more emotionally than I want to go, but I’m getting to a point in my life where it’s time to shit and not get off the pot, if you follow.
Today’s goals are to stay on top of things, simply stay organized, look forward to being done while being in the moment of each task whether it is paperwork or true interpersonal interactions. This is my last 12 hour-ish day as long as I can prevent it. Starting next week, I’ll be splitting my Wednesdays with a 4 hour break. That will be good. And in the fall, I will not be doing every other Saturday anymore.
I will practice what I preach: small steps, focusing on those things that I can control, preparing for future stress, and remembering that this too will pass and that I have many in my life who are here to help if I need it.
Tags: frustration, small steps, weary, work
